The difference between existing and living

How to stop being in autopilot and take control of your life.

The reality is there is a spectrum between default living (where we are in some level of reactive living, going from experience to experience without space for decisions based on what aligns with our values) and then there’s our highest self (where we are aligned with our values, respond to situations and create a life filled with purpose.)

We are all on this spectrum of default living/highest self and we are moving up and down it all the time. Unless you are some spiritual gurus who’s spent decades meditating on the meaning of life. Picture at one end of the spectrum is a catatonic individual who repeats the same cycle of experiences every day, miserable and stuck, nothing new happens and they a ‘waiting for the end’. And on the other end of this spectrum is someone who has discovered their purpose, is content in their journey; living in a continuous state of flow with highs and lows, they create their experiences and know that they are the creators of their life not external events.

When we hear the phrase, they’re simply existing not living. This describes the idea that someone is going through life without any purpose, they likely have a victim mindset and are stuck. They can’t see a way of improving their life, they believe this is just how life is. We learn this usually from an early age, as small children we are reliant on our care givers, so we adopt their beliefs about the world. As we grow older, we can challenge and change those beliefs; if we believe that is possible.

For example if you grew up believing life is hard work and it is not worth trying to change anything because you will always lose, then that limiting belief is going to do it’s best to keep you ‘safe’ by persuading you not to challenge the status quo and stay in this limiting mindset. this is because the brain seeks safety and comfort the best way it knows in that moment, so even if you know something is harming you, say a stressful job that you hate, it’s making you ill, you feel depressed and rely on alcohol to get you through to the next day, but leaving security of a pay check and title keeps you stuck in this experience. That is unless you have an experience that challenges your beliefs, this could look like getting fired or being signed of sick for a month. during that time, you realise the security and safety you thought you had was made up, you had been living life through a limiting story. This is existing!

Now for living: I believe there one key foundational principle we all need to know, and this is the common thread through all my coaching. Life is created through thought, without thought we could not interpret life, we use thought to have feeling, thought to take action and thought to understand every experience. You are using thought right now deciding what you think about what I’m writing. When you understand this key principle, you can then move on to create a life you love, and if you haven’t already start truly living! Ready to explore more?