7 Things You Can Do Right Now to Create a Life You Love
There's a difference between a life that looks good and a life that feels good. I see it every week: men who are doing everything right on paper and still feel like something's missing.
You don't need a complete overhaul to start closing that gap. You need a handful of honest, practical shifts, and the will to actually do them.
Everything below sits under what I call the Three P's: purpose, presence and playfulness. Some of these you can start today. Others are bigger conversations. Either way, here are seven things you can do right now to create a life you love.
1. Book the time off first
Most guys I work with aren't taking time off. And they've got a story about why. Too busy. Wrong time. No one to cover.
Here's what's really going on. Work is the priority, so work gets the diary. Life gets whatever's left. And there's never anything left.
So flip it. Open your calendar and block out the good stuff before anything else goes in. This is how I do it.
One big block. Two weeks or more. It's the anchor for your year, and everything else gets built around it. This year mine was August, built around a hiking holiday with my family.
A couple of shorter breaks. Five to seven days each. An Airbnb city break, a staycation, an all inclusive abroad. It doesn't matter which. It breaks the year up.
A long weekend every month. Build each one around something: a race, a birthday, a family celebration, a milestone. You're far more likely to stick to it when it's tied to something that matters.
Here's what I've noticed. The guys who do this tend to see more success in their work, not less. They come back sharper and clearer, and they stop running on fumes.
Work isn't the enemy. But when it's the priority, it takes everything. Life is the priority. Don't forget that.
2. Map out what's really important to you
Get a piece of paper. Actually do it, don't just think about it.
List everything you want to give your time to, and everything you already have a commitment to.
Then work out what's actually getting your time.
I like to draw this as a pie chart. It makes it visual, and it's easy to spot what's being squeezed out:
Family, work, health, friends, hobbies, rest...
How big is each slice, really?
A couple of things to keep in mind. Not everything has to have an equal share, and it shouldn't. And a short break doesn't need to take up much of the pie to be the thing that refuels you the most. Sometimes the smallest slice does the heaviest lifting.
3. Let it out
Holding all the pressure, stress and daily grind on your own comes at a cost. So find your way of letting it out.
Sport and exercise help, but they only get you so far. Friends and family can be great, but they're unlikely to fully get what you're facing. And a few pints down the pub on a Friday might feel like the answer, until it's Saturday morning and nothing's actually changed.
Investing in a professional counsellor or coach is a game changer. Not because something's wrong with you. Because everyone needs somewhere to put it down.
4. Take control of your time
There's a lot we don't control. Other people's opinions. The weather. Our own thoughts, half the time. The economy, fuel prices.
What we can take control of is how we use our time. We can't make more of it, but we can be more present within it. And when we practise that, we live more in the now. That's one step closer to a life you love. Non Negotiables:
I check back to my schedule reguarly throughout the day, looking at the day, week and month. Set and hold firm boundaries around time. Set and maintain a clear agenda. It can change, but what stays consistent is that each activity comes from choice, not need.
Remove the 'shoulds', 'musts' and need-to's from how you talk about your day. Replace them with choose to, want to, and get to.
Same diary: Completely different relationship with it.
5. Release the inner child
Have some bloody fun! Do something that makes you laugh. Be silly. Play. Let the creative side out.
Time and again I see successful guys who've lost all sense of what fun actually means. Eighteen holes of golf isn't fun, it's stress relief with a networking opportunity attached. Arts and crafts with the kids is a chore and something else to clean up. Dancing in the lounge is for that one Christmas when you'd had too much sherry.
Bring in a daily moment of fun. Here's why it matters: playfulness rewires how you experience life. It lightens your mood, sparks creativity, relaxes the body and mind. And yet it feels almost taboo, like the opposite of working hard. That's exactly why we need it.
If you've got kids, take their lead. Play for five minutes in the morning. The emails can wait. If you don't, put some music on, pick up that hobby you forgot about, and don't worry about doing it well. Just enjoy the process.
6. The five-minute practice for presence
Meditation apps, gong baths, retreats... they all market the same thing, presence, and there's something in that, but what I've found with guys like me and you is that we need something that isn't miles out of our comfort zone. Something you can do at your desk or on the sofa, without the Lycra and the yoga mat.
My practice is simple. Five minutes on the sofa. No tech, no music. I look out the window and set my watch for five minutes. That's it. I just enjoy the view until it beeps. My mind wanders, and when I notice, I come back to looking out the window.
You could use an app or a guided meditation if that works for you. But for me, that's one more pressure, one more thing on the to-do list. This way you can do it anywhere. No window? Find something to look at instead, a house plant, a picture on the wall. Outside, a steady stroll taking in the moment works just as well.
Get into the habit of this, and your presence improves in every sense of the word.
7. Get crystal clear on your purpose
A man with a purpose is a powerful man. And what I see, over and over, is not that men don't have a purpose, it's they don't yet know how to put it into words.
A lot of the guys I work with get to this point, and that's where our work really starts: uncovering it together, then developing the detail. Purpose is the route to fulfilment. The clearer it is, the more simply fulfilment comes to you.
If you're working through this on your own, start with this question: what's something bigger than me? Something that means more to me. Something that, when I think about it, gives me a sense of fullness, like this is where my energy comes from.
Then build on it. Where does this show up in my life right now: work, relationships, family, hobbies, interests?
Where to start
You don't need to do all seven at once. Pick the one that landed hardest as you read it, and start there this week, in fact start today, small steps.
Some of this you can do alone with a pen and paper. Some of it, especially the purpose work, goes deeper with someone alongside you who isn't inside your life and doesn't need anything from you. That's what I'm here for.
If something in here stirred something up, or you want help working through it properly, get in touch and let's talk.
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